I was 19 and for some reason or another was absolutely stressed with the idea of not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. I went to bed each evening thinking of all of the possibilities but never coming to anything that spoke in my soul. I had changed my major half a dozen times and apparently (according to my parents) this was a problem. I didn't just want a job...I wanted to be fulfilled!
Then one morning halfway between sleep and wakefulness it came to me. A whisper, clearly audible as if someone's voice had actually broken the morning silence. "MIDWIFE" it said plainly, confidently, with a slight sense of urgency.
Honestly I had no idea what it even meant. I bolted straight up in my bed and looked around to see who or what was in my room whispering words which I don't understand in my ear.
I had heard the word midwife only a few times in my life and only in reference to the bible and a long ago, far off time. I remember a Sunday School class in which we read a passage that said something like "and she was attended by her midwife." I remember the discussion just that midwife meant literally with woman and this "midwife" was a woman who stayed with a birthing woman to assist her.
My first thought was "Great so I am meant to be something that doesn't exist any more." But it felt so right as if someone had written it on my soul that I had to know more.
I went immediately to the library in my small town. It boggles my mind to this day that the book that was meant for me could be found there. It makes me want to go back there and donate 100s of books of the same calliber because this book did not belong there in that small Kansas town of conservatives and witch-hunters. But there is was: Spiritual Midwifery by Ina Mae Gaskin.
I drank this book like a carafe of water in the desert. I read it cover to cover and back again. I amalyzed every item of text in it...and then I sought out more.
I found out that midwifery was alive and well...although not in Kansas surprise, surprise. In fact it was illegal, punishable by jail time for practicing medicine without a license. This strengthened my resolve. I was about to take part in the rebirth of midwifery.
